Grace

If you're anything like me, grace seems like an abstract, impossible notion to effectively give in the realm of parenting. I mean, what does that look like? We have to walk this complicated, intricate balance of how to pour out grace on our children, all the while maintaining a lesson of life: there are consequences for your actions.

I don't by any means, claim to have the "know-how" when it comes to parenting. I'm just like everyone else, doing the best that I can. That being said, I feel like today my heart had a little lightbulb moment when it comes to grace.

My daughter asked me if she could make dinner. She has been reading a book about meals that people eat in different countries and asked if she could try one of them. There was an easy smoothie recipe (that supposedly hails from Australia), and she asked if that could be our dinner. I said sure! and we proceeded to make the smoothies together. We washed and cut up apples, mango, bananas, limes, and threw in some blueberries for good measure. Lolli was tasked with getting the blender out (yes, I'm one of "those people" who store the small appliances they don't routinely use in a cupboard). She started to move it to the counter and dropped it. Then she picked it up and dropped it again (maybe she wasn't certain if it broke on the first drop? hehe). Slippery fingers? I'm not certain. I was busy cutting up apples.

Let me allow you to glimpse into the mind of mothers. We are constantly cleaning up messes. Our things are dropped, broken, spilled on, stained, destroyed. It's almost like children see something that parents love and they immediately have a robot-like need to destroy it. Because of this, mother's don't always handle broken things with grace. Sure, there are those freak-of-nature-June-Cleavers (who I am convinced are really sociopaths, hence their ability to show no angry emotions when their children destroy things) that say all of the perfect things, but for the majority of Mom's in the world the response is generally something like: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?! AAAAHHHH! YOU DROPPED IT! IT'S BROKEN! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SHOES! SOMEBODY GET ME SOME SHOES!!!! AND THE BROOM! And then we proceed to angrily, frustratedly, perhaps silently (but usually this is that scary angry mom silence...), clean up the mess that our children have made.

On this day, I did not overreact. I said Is it broken? She said I don't think so. Dad investigated and it was. So I said Maybe Daddy will go to Walmart and get a new one and then we can finish making our smoothies. Grace. Grace poured out. And maybe that's what parental grace is supposed to be. It's not "letting it slide in grace" when our children behave like criminals (and let's be honest, children really basically behave like criminals almost daily: violence-hitting, biting, scratching, stealing-grabbing whatever toy they want when they want it, lying under oath-if I have to explain this one to you then you clearly do NOT have children, and on and on), but rather giving grace when the accidents come. Maybe grace is having the self control to recognize the things out of our children's control, and not behaving in a life-long-emotionally-detrimental way. Maybe grace looks like going to Walmart to get a new blender. Maybe grace is not being pissed when they spill (and mash) blueberries into your brand new couch. Maybe it's allowing them the freedom to destroy, fall apart, and then being the platform from which they can put things back together again.

So today I had a glimpse into how grace should show up in my home a whole lot more.

Breakfast

Have you ever pondered how much money you spend on breakfast cereals? Have you actually looked at the label and figured out what you're spoon feeding to your children? The ingredient list on some of the "healthy" cereal choices (Cheerios I'm looking at you!) will shock you!

I removed, quite a while ago, the typical boxed cereals from my home. Breakfast, in my opinion, should be something cooked. Why? Because when you have to prepare your food, you think much more about what you are consuming.

Breakfast in our home is often Oatmeal. There are a thousand different ways to flavor it: apples, pears, cranberries, nectarines, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, peaches, cinnamon, sugar, honey, milk, almonds, real maple syrup, and on and on. It's also cheap. I buy one box of oats for $6.99 a month and that feeds all of my children. You can scarcely pay that amount of money for one box of Cheerios nowadays! Plus, I control the sugar amount in their cereal (and often times I don't put any sugar at all!). Oatmeal can be made in the refrigerator (refrigerator oatmeal) overnight, in the crockpot (overnight), or in a pot in the morning (takes approximately 15 minutes from start to finish). You can use frozen fruits (I buy fruit in season, wash and freeze it myself, and use it as needed throughout the year), fresh fruit, and more. You can create a breakfast buffet with oatmeal toppings and allow your children to pick their own.

The possibilities are endless! So think about making a breakfast change and put some more change in your pocket! ;)

Coupons, the new addiction

Tuesdays are quickly becoming one of my favorite days. You know why? Tuesdays are the days when the circulars come in the mail box! Woohoo! It's the one day we get to open up the box and get free money! YAY! Last night I laid out my circulars, evaluated my sales, cut my coupons, and analyzed what I am going to get this weekend with my grocery trip. 

The kids and Chief are nervous that I'm going to become one of those couponing addicts. I seriously don't think I will. I'm not interested in buying things I don't need. I think that's kind of selfish. But I am interested in saving money for my family on the items we use! 

I have discovered that making a list of prices is incredibly important when trying to save money at the grocery store. It is important to have sale price, and coupons listed together. I also separate out all of the coupons I will be using on that particular trip and put them in a green paperclip (green for "go" and red for "stop"). It's how I know which one's I'm using. I fold the tip down on that coupon when I've put it in my cart (so I know I have it) and cross it off my list. It also helps me to keep track.

Have you started using coupons? Even a little bit?

Groceries, what!?

Shopping for a large family can be expensive. Living on a military income, I have had to deeply penny pinch every aspect of our lifestyle. Regardless of what some politicians seem to think (politicians who have never lived on a military income, I might add), we make very little money. I'm not complaining, a paycheck is a paycheck and I am quite grateful for the one we get, but it makes for some tight living.

Every month we make our family budget. This is done for a couple of reasons:
1) We have to stretch that meager Sergeant's salary VERY far
2) We do not use any credit cards whatsoever. We live only on a cash budget, so if we don't have the cash, we don't buy it.
3) We like to know what we're spending on, preparing for, and whether or not we need to re evaluate our purchases.

My budget this month had a massive wrench thrown into it, when the husband announced he needed new tires. Yesterday. It might not sound like a big deal for you, but when you randomly have to alter your budget by hundreds dollars, things have to go. I started to slightly hyperventilate. I was panicking. Where was I going to come up with this much money!?

I started evaluating my food purchases. I started investigating using coupons and where/how I could save cash. It took a lot of planning. I had to really think about what stores were selling, which coupons I had, and the best days to purchase.

Albertsons store offers a 10% military discount off your total purchase on the first Saturday of each month. YAY! They also happened to be having a big sale this weekend on many thanksgiving food items. SUPER yay! After looking through my stash, carefully analyzing things, and making up a VERY specific list, I was able to get our month's groceries (minus our weekly produce needs) for WAY under my projected budget. Today I saved $119.69 at Albertsons, using coupons. It was a truly beautiful experience. I stood there at the register and nearly had a heart attack when he said my savings.

I am really starting to rethink shopping at the Commissary. I would have spent twice the amount I spent at Albertsons on the same items.

Chevron: that's good stuff

I drive a minivan. It was an emotional experience the day I had to trade in my "cutesy" girl car and get the dreaded mom-van. It was almost like a death in the family. I had to resign myself to years and years of this plus-sized vehicle and it was tragic.

I settled on a Ford Freestar. As much as I loathed having to get a van, this was a most awesome one to get. It isn't really fancy, but it drives nicely, brakes nicely, gets great gas mileage (about 435 to a tank) and has served me quite well in the nearly six years that I've had it.

Many large families (and small one's too for that matter) have been trying to pinch pennies where ever they could, and we were no exception to that rule. The rising cost of gas has hit many of us hard in our wallets. As a result of this, I started buying our military gas (it's usually a couple of cents cheaper).

A few months ago I noticed my gas mileage severely dropping. I thought it might have been related to my van's need for a tune up. Took her in, had her tuned up, checked the air in the tires, yada yada yada, and STILL the gas mileage was dropping. It wasn't a minor drop either, it was down to about 310 miles to a tank of gas (that's 125 miles less than normal!).

I was talking to my Dad about the gas situation and he asked what gas I purchased for my car. I said "The generic stuff. Isn't all gas the same?" Well, according to Pops, not so much. Apparently different gas companies do different things to their gas.

A little bit of research later and I decided that I was going to give my car what I have named "The Chevron Challenge." I challenged my car to two tanks of gas (I didn't think one would be completely fair), and if I didn't see a mileage improvement, I would stick with the cheaper stuff.

My very first tank of Chevron gas instantly upped my mileage to 417 miles a tank (I have a 23 gallon tank). The second, 443. The third, 472. I am on my fourth and at my current trend, I am prepped to reach nearly 500 miles to a tank.

Chevron gas costs more to purchase initially. However, with the increased gas mileage, I am saving money by buying Chevron gas. My husband's vehicle has now been switched to Chevron and his mileage has doubled.

I wanted to share this with all of you because the changes were so significant. So I will leave you with this: Are you willing to take the Chevron challenge?

Note: I am not being paid by Chevron to advocate for their gas. I am simply stating my opinions on a way to save money.