Yowza!

I love Hans Zimmer. Okay, maybe not in that sexual, romantic, spicy, hoo haw kind of way. But I love his music. I believe that man's musical score in his head and mine are identical twins. He can write things that my soul seriously dreams, feels, and projects daily. I just don't have the ability to write it down in musical notes.

We have finished our time in Iraq. Seriously. That country is no longer on the forefront of my mind. I have been looking around for a tune to describe to you what it's like. How my feelings are and where they're at. I have found it! It's from the movie Spirit (my family reading this is currently laughing....side note story: when I was pregnant with my oldest child, she would go crazy any time the Spirit soundtrack was played....they all mocked me heavily for this). It is called "Run Free". Google it. I'm serious! Yes, I know it's over synthesized, and yada yada yada. But the spirit behind the music...it is exactly how I feel.

My heart is insanely in love with my husband. I honestly do not believe there are enough words to put on paper in the course of my entire lifetime to say how blessed I am. This man is the love of my life. To try to even begin to contemplate how deeply, passionately, intensely I love him brings tears to my eyes. Not in this sappy, trying to brag or irritating way. We are both flawed and imperfect. We both fail, sin, fight, argue, are selfish, and on and on. But the joy I have been given in being able to love him...I am thankful that I am able to love him! I am thankful for being his helper! For being his partner! I couldn't have asked for a better mate. God seriously was so generous in giving him to me. And it's all God. I'm not kidding. I dated an enormous amount of dooshbags and losers. I also dated a wonderful assortment of amazingly wonderful men, who were COMPLETELY wrong for me. I do firmly believe that each of them assisted in molding and shaping me into a better woman for my husband. But they were, for lack of a better word, all inevitably disasters.

I have always been a passionate, emotional being. My feelings are intense and powerful. I have also always been aware of this. But here is the kicker...my husband is the perfect balance for it! He so wonderfully gets fired up when I am, and also mellows me when I am ridiculously upset. He balances my insanity, and encourages my passions. He allows me to sore on wings, by pushing, prodding, and assisting me in growing into a better woman....into a better image of God.

Okay, so you're wondering what the heck is the correlation between all of this romance nonsense and the end of the Iraq situation....I am working on bringing you there! Be patient! haha! I am giving you the emotionality of being finished with Iraq. Four years of my husband's life have been spent in that country. To say goodbye stirs sad feelings, fearful feelings, and enormous amounts of joy. I am sad that what has become familiar to me is going away. It is a country with so much civil unrest, that it is unlikely I will ever be able to visit there. Plus, most likely my soldier will never desire to go there. But I have enjoyed looking at pictures and having my soldier explain to me where it is, what he was doing there, and the stories behind the locations. I will miss those moments, and the hope of ever hearing more of the wonderful stories my husband has. I feel fearful because this means he will deploy to other locations... I know his life is in God's hands and I have peace about that. But the fear comes from the unknown. I know what to expect in regards to Iraq. I know how things roll for the most part, and how everything plays out. If he should go to Afghanistan...everything will be different. Different=a little bit of scary. The joy...well, do I really have to explain where the joy comes from!? One less place for him to deploy to! WOOHOO!

So anyway...go check out that song. And forgive me if this doesn't make too much sense. I'm too happy to worry about clarity! HAHA!

humph

It seems like I woke up only to discover it has been QUITE a while since I've written on here. Here I sit trying to think of some witty and interesting topic. Truthfully, I don't think anything pertinent is coming to mind.

My kids have started school. I homeschool them and it keeps me quite busy. Now before you put your "uh oh...she's a weird one" panties on, let me just say...I dare you to try it. Seriously! I do! I dare you to actually take on trying to educate your kid. It. Is. Hard. Okay, the word hard is maybe not quite the right word. It's not exactly extremely difficult to understand. It's not like trying to venture through a read of Atlas Shrugged (seriously, one of the most difficult books to read...). It is hard because of the enormous amounts of organization, creativity (how many different ways can YOU think of to do a craft, memorize, study, practice writing, and being able to grasp the concept and sounds of the letter "A"), patience (lots of this is required), persistence, being able to teach one subject in a multitude of ways (one child learns one way, a different child learns another), flexibility (no...we're not talking splits here folks), and insanity. Yes, I say insanity. It is not a typo. I think you sincerely must be insane to educate. Why would any sane person CHOOSE to sit down with a bunch of young children day after day going over the alphabet. I mean, this isn't exactly adult stimulating.

Okay, yes, I'm complaining, and yes, I know I've chosen to do this. I want to educate my children. The schools here=not so good, and I will NOT do to my children what was done to me when I headed off to college (me in class-I don't understand anything you're saying despite being valedictorian.... them-Where did you go to school? me in class-L.A. them-OOOOHHHH. That explains everything! Your high school education is our junior high...you're going to have to work very hard). I refuse to put my children through this. So until we move to a better school district...this is what they'll get. But my point behind my whining is...teachers are amazing. School teachers, Bible teachers, life teachers, parents, Sunday School teachers....they are all amazing. We honestly have NO idea how much hard work, determination, and self discipline is required from our "leaders" in our community. I know that more people are becoming aware of this notion of gratitude, and wanting to pay them more. I'm not arguing for or against that. I'm just saying, have you thought about saying the word "thank you" recently? Has it even crossed your mind how completely and utterly irritating it can be for leaders? Seriously! People are urgently quick to complain, point out flaws, state all of the problems... But yet they are literally moving at a snail's pace to appreciate, congratulate, or thank. humph. I don't like it.