This past week has been an emotional roller coaster. To be perfectly honest, I am still sort of reeling from the exhaustion from it all.
Today has been a tearful day. Have you ever had those moments? I just feel so sad. It's not that anything is wrong. Things aren't perfect but my life is not falling apart. I am healthy, my kids are healthy. My husband loves me. My family loves me. I am blessed. Beyond imagination. Yet today, it seems that everything is reducing me to tears.
I miss my best friend. In ways that only he can understand. There is something about the certain knowledge that he won't be home at night that is difficult. It feels so heartbreaking. There is something about looking at his spot in our bed and knowing he won't be in it tonight, or the next night, or the next... There is something about the day going by when I know he won't be coming home at the end of it.
Busy yourself...yes, I know all the Army Wife tricks. Be busy. Truthfully there is quite a lot to do. My home has seriously been slacked on the cleaning portion. Or rather, I've been slacking on cleaning it up. I have just had so little motivation to get down on my hands and knees and do the scrubbing.
I need to give myself a break. I know it's okay if the bathroom goes a week without a thorough scrub down. I know my floors won't disintegrate without being scrubbed too... I know it's okay to have those times in our lives when we are exhausted and emotionally drained. I also know that the ultimate source of Comfort is always here...I am never alone.
I asked my Creator this morning to give me a lot of things to laugh about today. I know He will. He always listens. Or maybe He won't. Maybe He knows better than I do, that some times we just need to have a day of tears and mourning. Maybe we need moments where we just pour all of our emotions at His feet and let them go. Maybe He knows that today is one of those days where I'm sad and that's okay. Maybe He knows that tomorrow will be a joyful, laughter-filled, silly day. And today... Today just needs to be a reminder. Not everything is rose petals. Not everything is simple. But He is always working in the midst of every moment, every situation, every experience. And even the sad days have purposes...
