PRT

My husband is getting fit. Seriously! Yes, I know he's a soldier, but the Army has just adopted this new physical fitness routine called PRT (Physical  and Readiness Training) and it has yielded some beautiful results! He went from plumpy (I say this with a bit of mocking in my tone because his version of "plump" means that he looks "normal") to six pack and drop dead muscularly gorgeous.

After noticing this beautiful new physic that he has going on, I started noticing that I am not rocking such a beautiful physic. Okay, I'll admit. I am pleasantly plump, portly, chubby chubster, not what you would call "skinny", fat. That's me. And I ate my way into this position that I am in. Okay, so back to my point. After noticing that he was looking so darn sexy, I asked him if he would be willing to teach me PRT and then help me to do it every day. He said that he would, and my adventure is beginning.

I am giving PRT two weeks. I will do this every day with the exception of Sundays and Wednesdays. I have taken my starting measurements and I will see how the results go.

Tonight was my first night and let me tell you, it was a challenge! My husband started me out on the entry level stuff and I was struggling to breathe through it! But it was an awesome workout and I am excited to see how this changes my "portly" (look...I don't want to live in denial...lol) body.

Day one complete. Oy vey! Tomorrow I'm going to be achin'! :)

Baby fever

I've got baby fever.

Settle down and close your jaws. I DO NOT have baby fever in my own uterus, I have baby fever for other ladies' uteruses. :) My sister is pregnant and scores of my dear girl friends are all pregnant. I am elated! I can not wait to hug on, pray over, love on, give cuddles and kisses and holdings to babies that are so beautiful and precious. Not precious because they're ugly (you know what I'm talking about....ooooh! You're baby is SO.....precious....), but rather precious because they seriously are amazing. I feel almost like I'm counting down the clock on all of these deliveries!

I was just telling my sister tonight, it is my favorite thing to love on a baby and then hand them to mom and dad and head to bed. :D It's all the fun without the same commitment that the parents had. :)

It is completely beautiful to have a baby. I don't even know how to put into words the experience of carrying a child. Feeling the flutters, then the kicks, then getting to experience the entire invasion-of-the-body-snatchers movements. It is beautiful watching your body transition and change as your baby grows. It is beautiful to experience labor. The pain and the struggle with which life is born. It is beautiful to hold your child in your arms. It is beautiful to feel the emptiness that your soul immediately feels when your child has left your body. There are no words.

Of course there are a thousand comical aspects to having a baby. The whole pooping during labor, and throwing up/nausea, and on and on. Don't even get me started on what happens where the sun doesn't shine for the next few weeks. And um...breast feeding? Seriously. Hook your breasts up to what can only be labeled as the vacuum from down under and see how long you enjoy it! :) (And don't send me hate mail. I breastfed. In fact, I also breastfed my triplets too. Talk about a dairy farm. Been there! Done that! lol)

But the sweet joy...the most amazing experiences...they come in the hard to explain moments. They come at three o'clock in the morning when this beautiful person that you love so deeply, won't stop screaming bloody murder at you and you feel like you are about to lose your mind. They come when you are breastfeeding and your child falls asleep. They come when you just stop for half a second and realize what it is that you are experiencing...you are raising LIFE! I still remember the moments when I was all alone (my husband was deployed) with my new born daughter, in the middle of the night, rocking her in the rocking chair. I remember sitting there crying and thinking in my head, "How will I ever keep you safe? I don't want you to grow up." That precious creature is now almost six years old.

Oh how my arms ache. I ache to hold all the beautiful and wonderful creatures who are soon to be coming out of their mommy's bellies. I ache to hold my little niece/nephew.

I have a tradition when the babies are born. It started with my oldest and I have continued it on with every baby. I pray a blessing over them. It's one of my favorite things to do.

Okay, I know this one's a bit sappy. But seriously...who wouldn't be!? I have a friend in labor right now! :)

Thankful

I am thankful for my life. I am thankful for the beautiful and wonderful aspects of my life. There are so many things that I have been blessed to experience, to suffer through, to share, to...have. I suppose when I reflect back on my life, I did not expect anything that I currently have in my life.

When I was fifteen, I had all sorts of grand notions about where I would be when I was approaching thirty. I envisioned myself to be a surgeon. I wanted the glamor and ego that came with being able to manipulate people's broken hearts. I wanted to be able to fix things. If it was broken, I wanted to be able to fix it. I also wanted people to look at me and go...that girl is smart. She's a surgeon. It's shameful to admit it, but I was that sort of egomaniac. I envisioned myself singing some place and having all these people love me. I didn't want children, because that wasn't part of my agenda...having to give to others. I wanted to work hard and have the world love me for it. Interspersed throughout those ridiculous visions of grandeur would come moments where I longed to feel loved. I would dream of having some hot shot spouse who adored me with all of his heart.

When I was sixteen, I went through an extremely difficult year. So many of the things that I had envisioned and hoped for disappeared. During one night of prayer and prostrating myself before Christ, I had a vision. It was clear as day. A fork in the road. Right. Or left. Which way? God's way? Or mine.

I wish I could tell you that the choice was easy for me. It wasn't. I cried and cried, knowing that all of the plans that I had made would fade away and submit to the plans that He had for me. After a long road, I chose His path. 

I also wish that I could tell you my life has been roses and flowers since making that choice. It most definitely has not. But I can tell you with complete certainty that my life has been abundantly filled to the brim with love. I am not a surgeon. I don't really sing anywhere (except in my seat during the worship services at church). I am not a star. I am not a hot shot. I am not married to some egomaniac hot shot military guy. I am not married to a man who compares self worth with ambition. I am not married to someone who is defined by his salary, job position, or what the world defines him to be.

I think that is honestly the greatest gift I have ever been given. In my husband I have been taught so many amazing lessons. To sit here and try to define them all is virtually impossible. You would literally be here reading for the next ten years, and quite frankly I'm not all that interested in writing it all out in this one session. :)

My point of this whole entry is that I thought I knew what I "needed". I thought I knew what was best for me and how everything should work out. I had drawn out in my mind my own count by numbers picture and all that was left was for life to connect the dots.

My picture now is absolutely nothing like what I envisioned. I am a stay at home mom to four kids. I don't have a "job", at least not one that I get paid for. I am not making some tremendous contribution to society. My ego has been deeply deflated. I am not a hot shot. I am not a surgeon. I don't save lives. Heck, I don't even think I can save my own. In the world's definition of capabilities, I have most certainly not lived up to mine. But yet my life is filled with laughter. My heart is consumed by joy. My arms are rarely empty. My hands have so many other hands to hold. I am loved. I am deeply and passionately loved by the man God gave to me. I get to travel and live in parts of the world I never would have imagined or dreamed of living in. I am challenged intellectually on a constant basis. Let me tell you, there are no greater intellectual challenges than the one's your children ask you at the most random of times. "Mommy? Why are leaves green and not pink?" I honestly believe I spend the majority of my day discovering. How neat is that? Instead of me being on some high horse look-at-how-great-I-am position, I get to discover LIFE through the eyes of my children. I get to explain to them the intricacies and beauties of living. I get to teach them about goodbyes and hellos and science and physics and love. 

I am blessed because I have the most wonderful of all men walking beside me. I wish I could make you understand just how wonderful he is. I made no settlement when I married him. There was no compromise. I knew what I wanted and I knew what I could give. Yet, it was entirely a fifty/fifty guess. His perfect union with me was out of my hands. When I was younger I thought I knew what I needed, so how could I have been certain that this man was the one I needed? I wasn't! And I ran as hard and as fast as I could away from him. Yet God in His goodness, and my husband in his patience, brought us back together. He deeply is the love of my life. In every single way. I don't even know how to put words to it.

So my point here is this: just because you maybe have plans on how everything is supposed to go...be thankful when it doesn't. I promise you, it almost always ends up WAY better than your creative mind ever could have envisioned.