Fun

Nuggets,

Have fun. I think that's a sentence that is often times lost on the perfectionists of the world. We are constantly striving towards some greater element of success in ourselves. We work like crazy to achieve some unknown internal mental success bar that, truth be told, is not really achievable. We bombard our brains with requirements and we dig in and work ourselves to the bone, and at the end of the day, where do we stand. Have we actually enjoyed anything?

I struggle with having fun. I wonder if you will grow up understanding that to be true in me. I spend so much time laughing and making jokes, that I sometimes think it's impossible for people to see that. I struggle with being present in the moment. I give so much of myself to honor my commitments. Honor, integrity, loyalty... these are big deals to me. But fun...? It's not so much on my radar. I am trying to change that.

You see, Nuggets, I want to learn to be more like you. I want to wake up and find wonder is silly things. I want to awaken my imagination and sense of awe. I want to be present in each moment that we are together.

So have fun. I'm trying to. :)

Ring on it

In less than a month, my last name turns 10. Ten years ago I walked in to a church and put a ring on this dude's finger, half panicking throughout the entire ordeal, riddled with sweat, and nearly vomiting. The inner monologue is all comedy now, but then... I felt like a caged bird. Strange thing to say about the greatest single situation I've ever committed myself to.

Try as I may to hide it, I guess somehow the story got leaked that I adore him or something. I linked up with the single most capable person of handling my personality and my sense of humor and I get to shag him too (Don't be jealous America. You will find your own piece of hottness too!). Yowza!

I wish I could write effectively what a day in our lives is like. I wish I could express how much of our days we spend laughing together. I wish I could communicate how his face still makes my stomach do sommersaults, and his hands interlocking with mine, make me the bravest person on the planet. I wish I could effectively say how his laugh instantly melts my irritated heart and warms it up. I wish I could define it so that other people could understand it, so that I could somehow bottle it up to make it last for forever and ever and hand it down to our children.

Lolli reminds me often Love is the only thing that never goes away. It never dies. The act of loving is unending, infinite, the greatest of miracles. He is my big shining ball of miracle.

So we're about to turn 10, Chief... Double digits... How you doin? ;)