Lobster

I get pretty weary from the traditional Sunday morning battles that I've been dealing with since you left. Every morning it's the same. I wake up groggy and tired. Your youngest wakes up enraged. It's been such a tiring experience. What is it exactly about Sunday mornings? Does she have an internal clock that says to her "today is Sunday! I should act like a crazy person today!" Is it just coincidence?

I miss you. I miss having you here. I miss going to church with you. I miss sitting with you in our car. I miss you being here to help combat the craziness of our children. I miss the peace I get from being around you. I miss laughing together. Do you know it's been forever since you and I have laughed together? I think the ache that is the undertone of every one of our skype chats prevents the laughter from coming. It's hard to laugh when it hurts.

Maybe that should be our goal, if we get to talk today. Maybe we should make certain to tell jokes, or do be silly, or to talk about funny aspects of our days. It seems to be so easy for us to do when you're home, why is it so hard when you're away?

I ache for you. I'm hurting. I'm tired.