Engagements

I've been enjoying taking these trips down memory lane with the Lobster. I like them for a couple of reasons: I never want to forget our "story" and they remind me of all the mushy gushy stuff that we experienced in our younger years. On tonight's menu is the story of our engagement (the second one, AKA the one that "stuck").

The lobster sent me off to go do girly things. I got my nails done, and went to the "spa", which in me-zone is heaven on earth. I almost always feel incredibly guilty spending money on myself for those types of things, but the lobster is the only person who encourages it, and does it in a way where I feel treasured, not selfish.

He sent me off to a full pamper day. He also picked out an outfit for me to wear, which I am ashamed to admit that I don't remember what it was. And no, that's not because it didn't stay on long, you dirty minded people. Jesus cries with your thoughts!

When I came back from my pamper day, we went to a restaurant called the "Gold Fork". It was in the city where he was stationed, and it was on the upscale side of that town. I don't remember what we ate. I honestly knew he was going to ask me that day, so I was kind of nervous and anxious and just waiting for it to happen. I was also quite curious as to what environment he would do it in. Was he going to go the often occurring way, and embarrass the crap out of me in the restaurant? Would he take me to a park? Would he give a speech? How would this all play out?

Now I'm going to take you down a little rabbit trail here, but that's what I do, and this is my blog so go with it! Every girl puts almost equal thought into her "engagement" question as she does into her wedding. In my universe, I spent more time dreaming and dwelling on the engagement question than I did on the actual wedding. Even in my younger years, I was terrified of having to participate in a wedding. As much as I like to tell jokes and make people laugh, love has always been the most serious part of me, and I don't like to show it to strangers/semi strangers/and family members. The lobster is the only human being that I could kiss in front of others and not be embarrassed. He's the only person that I could hug in public, snuggle in a movie theater, and be vulnerable around with other people present. However, it took him approximately seven years of marriage to reach that level with me. I'm a tough nut to crack! Anyway, I had a complete dream of how I wanted to be proposed to. The other challenge for him is that this was technically the second time that the whole marriage question had be coming from his mouth towards me. The first one was romantic and impulsive and beautiful in its own way, but it was nothing even remotely close to what I dreamt about as a girl.

Now back to our story...

The dinner was wonderful. He was incredibly nervous but he was trying to play it off. Actually on the nervous scale, he wasn't all that off the charts. He was pretty cool, calm, and collected. I think the whole time, throughout the dinner, I was screaming in my head "PLEASE DO NOT BOTCH THIS!!!!!!!"

The dinner finally ended, and I was kind of going along for the ride. He then took me back to what became our apartment. To be truthful, when he said we were going back there I thought that maybe I had pegged everything wrong. I started to doubt myself. Then he said, "I just have to do something really quick in there. Just wait in the car." This made me curious. I stopped doubting, and I was now completely certain he was going to ask me. But I was truly under the impression that he was going to grab the "ring" and then come back out to the car and take me somewhere else.

I sat in that car for twenty minutes. I started to get angry, if I'm honest with you. I was about to text him some angry message, when he came back outside. I will tell you that I remember what he was wearing (is that weird!?). He was wearing black slacks, dress shoes (this is exceptionally rare in his world), and a sweater that I got for him. I don't know why I'm adding this information now, but just go with it.

He came outside, opened my car door, and started walking towards the door to my apartment. At this point, he. was. nervous. Literally I think his whole body was shaking in combination with his endless fidgeting, and insanely sweaty palms. I have to give you some background here (sorry...). My apartment was a second floor apartment. My front door was on the ground floor though. You would open the door, walk up an immediate flight of stairs, and then into my apartment. Okay, now that this business portion is out of the way, you can understand the next part. He took my hand and stood at the front door. I remember him pausing for just a split second. In retrospect I wonder if he was gathering his thoughts, calming his nerves, or trying to decide if he wanted to back out. Maybe he was doing all of that at once? Either way, at this point, my childhood fantasy was completely fulfilled.

He opened the door to the stairs of my apartment covered in rose petals and candles. There was no carpet, just roses. In fact, my entire apartment was lit up with candles. I walked up the flight of stairs, and with each step I could feel my heart skipping beats. I could feel the beginning of something amazing happening. He asked me if I liked it, and I said it was beautiful. These types of moments between us used to be immensely awkward. I struggle with affection now, but then I was horrible at it. I didn't know how to express to him what I was feeling. So I probably very awkwardly tried to revel in the experience, and told him it was beautiful.

Once I reached the top of the stairs, my entire apartment was covered in red rose petals. There were white candles literally covering the entire place. He walked me into my bedroom where he had purchased a massive bouquet of red roses and placed them on my dresser. You put rose petals all over my bed, and also had candles here. It was truly a scene out of a movie. He sat me down on my bed and then froze.

Now as I'm writing this to you, if you don't know us personally, you have to understand how this portion of the night's events was completely fitting to our personalities and our relationship. He stood there and started talking to me when I interrupted him and said
"Aren't you going to get down on one knee?"
"Yes! Give me a second!"
"Okay. Just checking!"
"Will you please just let me do this my way!?"
"Are you going to make a speech!? Because I want you to make a speech! I've been dreaming of the speech my whole life!"
"Yes, I'm going to make a speech!! You are making me nervous!"
Then I laughed because I was being retarded. Then I said
"Don't be nervous baby. You know I'm going to say yes."
"Well you might not!"
"Are you serious!?"
He muttered something that I don't remember.
I said "We're getting off topic!"
"Okay. I'm ready now. I'm really nervous!"


The speech he made is engraved on my heart. It was magnificent and beautiful and exactly what I desperately wanted it to be. The words he said were what every girl dreams of hearing. As wonderful as they were, they are our secret. While I love sharing so many portions of our relationship, there are some treasured moments that are personal, and best to be kept between the two who spoke them. That moment was the most significant moment in my life, at the time, and I want to keep it personal.

After his speech he finally said:
"So, will you marry me?"
I'm sure you can figure out that I said yes. Then I proceeded to tell him that blowing out all these candles would probably set off the smoke detectors and he said he had thought about that, but thought the moment needed the candles. I agreed.

We got married very much so shortly after that moment. The Army beckoned him off for another deployment, and he was a bit frightened that I would deployment ditch him again, so we got hitched. Maybe some day I'll share our wedding day events with you. For now, I'm giggling about the silliness of that night, and the amazing journey that this man committed himself to. For him to give me himself was the greatest of gifts that anyone had ever offered me, especially after I had broken off our first engagement.

What was your engagement moment like? Any funny aspects to it?