You were given block leave right before your first deployment. September 11th had already happened, and our nation was going to war. You called me after having told me for a month that you were going to come and see me, to tell me yet again, that you weren't coming. I remembered by that point getting irritated. I didn't want you to waste my time, and I had no idea what you looked like, so if this wasn't going to happen, then I didn't want to be some stupid girl you talked to on the phone. Especially because it wasn't like I had any shortage of fellas around to pay attention to me.
So when you said that you weren't going to come because you just didn't know if it was a good idea, I was upset. I could tell that you were just scared. You didn't know me, you didn't know if this was going to be a good idea, and you didn't want to invest your pre-war block leave on some chick that wasn't going to put out and was hell bent on her own goals and ambitions. I get it. You had legitimate concerns.
I suppose I was being a brat, but I said, "If you're not going to come here, then I'm not going to talk to you." You said, "Are you serious!?" I said, "Yup." and went dead silent. Now, in your version of these events, I was dead silent for an hour while you begged me to talk to you. In my version of these events (and this is after all my blog, so we'll go with what I recall...) it was only about five minutes. Truthfully it was probably somewhere in between (since we're both a bit melodramatic and we like to make this whole story sound a bit exciting than it was). Either way, the silence was only broken when you said, "I have to go. I'm going to buy a ticket. I'll be there tomorrow." Now this part I remember clearly because I can still remember how I felt in that moment. My heart skipped a beat and I squealed "REALLY!?" You replied, "Yeah. I'll be there. I'll call you back with the info."
Five minutes later you did in fact call me back with your arrival information. It was pretty crazy. I was more nervous than I've ever been in my whole life. I started to half panic.
This half panicking wasn't very helpful, either, as I had my hardest midterm the following morning. It was incredibly difficult to maintain my intense pre-med studying course of eight hours pouring over the books. I think it helped that I was crazy excited to see you.
The next morning, I woke up insanely early. This was partially that I wanted to study some more, but it was also that I was incredibly excited and nervous. In fact, my roommates were making hard core fun of me, because they'd seen me prepare for a gazillion dates and never once did I freak out about how I looked and try on like fifteen outfits and ask them how I looked. However, I must confess, this chick who had never before given a crap about how she looked, was in full fledged "girl" mode: Hair up? Hair down? Eyes? Make up on or off? This shirt or that one? Jeans or something else? Which jacket? Which shoes? They were laughing at me the whole time.
Finally my roommate left for her class, and I was alone. I settled on my mother's vintage orange turtleneck and jeans, with my brown corduroy bombers jacket. Hair was down. No make up.
This midterm was my only real challenging class, so I started to try to hit the books. Truthfully, I didn't study. I think I stared at the same page the whole time. I got up, I sat down. I was anxious. I wanted you to hurry up and get there. I wanted to get this introduction over with. Would I like you? What if you were ugly? What if you thought I was ugly? What if there were no sparks? What if this ended up being a disaster and I had to politely spend the weekend with someone I couldn't stand? The anticipation was killing me.
Finally, after what I am convinced was eighteen thousand hours, you knocked on my dorm room door. I looked through the key hole (I did...I cheated a little... you know this.) and there you were. I was so nervous I almost threw up. I opened the door, and if I remember right my hands were shaking.
What were the first words that sealed the deal between me and the love of my life? Were they some magical phrase, or some romantic gesture? Was music swelling and fireworks going off in the background? Nope! I was met with the horrific smell of a chain smoker. I believe these were our first words (as I remember them): "Hi!"
"Hi!"
"You smell."
"Yeah. Mind if I take a shower?"
"No. Please do."
"Okay."
"There's the bathroom, towels. Do you need anything else?"
"Nope."
"Okay."
The door shut, the water turned on, and my mind was reeling. Only after you started showering, did I start to contemplate if maybe it wasn't appropriate for you to be showering in my dorm room, however I knew that I had done nothing inappropriate, and probably God would allow a person offering a shower to a weary traveler.
You finally emerged from the shower in a long sleeve white shirt and jeans (which we still have...). What did you then say to me?
"You look better without your glasses."
Um...thanks!? And mind quickly spinning into, uh oh... this is obviously a disaster!
"But you're pretty hot!"
And awkward silence...
I think I must've laughed or tried to quickly deflect the awkwardness with something funny, because I don't really remember the conversation after that. The next part I remember was us walking to my mid term, and my professor literally falling in love with you in like five minutes. I remember he bought you a soda, while he fried my brain with the insanity that was my lab mid term.
When I finished the test, we went to lunch, and some Marine reservist pissed you off with their acting like they were high and mighty. It was my introduction to two aspects of the Army: 1. Branch pride. It's fierce and crazy, and I am 100% a part of it now. 2. Active Duty opinions of reservists.
That afternoon we were on the couch in my dorm room talking, and that night we had our first "date". We went to a modern art show on campus and then out to dinner. I was smitten. I was hardcore into you. There was hand holding, giggling, and trying so hard to be charming. I remembered feeling like I was cloud fifteen thousand and nine the whole time.
It was the beginning of you and me becoming "us". It was awkward and weird, which is kind of who we are, so it was completely genuine to our personalities. It was the only way that should have been. I'm so glad the silent treatment worked and that you came up there. Could you imagine how different our lives would be if you hadn't?
No comments:
Post a Comment