It was after you and I got back together that we had our first "holiday" as a couple. Needless to say, even though it wasn't an official holiday (and it was a day that I always loathed due to its superficiality up to this point), I all of a sudden became in love with it. I spent hours mulling over what to give you, carefully planning, creating, developing, and preparing to present to you the first ever "Valentine's gift" that I had ever given anyone.
I made you a gift basket. I researched heavily the Armored branch of the Army and heard about how their colors were gold and green. I found a beautiful gold and green ribbon and I decorated the basket with the ribbon. Then I filled it with all sorts of your favorite goodies. A coffee maker, for your barracks room, coffee cups (the giant kind because little coffee cups irritate you), really good coffee, filters, creamer, some other drink items I thought you would like, and the most honest, sincere, heart felt, passionate letter I have ever written to any human being ever. I knew even then, your deep love affair with all things caffeinated, and the gift was a hit. You loved it, and we still have all of the coffee cups even now, so many years later.
I remember when you made me close my eyes, and you came out carrying a giant teddy bear with my favorite flowers in your other hand: Ash roses, which were incredibly difficult to find in the middle of winter in that place where you were stationed. My eyes grew massively large because all of my life I had wanted a giant teddy bear. It was a deep desire of mine, and I was so excited to have this massive, soft, furry thing to cuddle up with at night. It was the neatest experience. When you handed it to me, I immediately gave it a giant squeeze, and I felt something weird hit my neck. Wrapped around the neck of that amazing teddy bear, was the other item that I had wanted all of my life: a white gold cross necklace. This was the most perfect cross necklace that I ever could of imagined. It was exactly what I would have picked for myself: White gold, with diamonds. It was simple, but spectacularly elegant. I started to cry. I had never told you that those were the two things I had always wanted, and yet somehow you knew me well enough to figure it out. You have always been that person, since the moment I met you, the only person who knew exactly what it was I wanted/needed underneath it all. You have always known me. You have always been the only person who has ever really known me, in my completeness.
Who would've known that one year, and one day, from that date, our first child would be born. Three years from that exact date, our three children would be born.
Lolli has been trying to figure out a way to abduct that teddy bear from me since the beginning of her existence. It has slept beside me through every deployment our marriage has faced, and been put away when you come back. That cross necklace has graced my neck through every single day and night that we have ever been apart. I have been faithful, and I have never taken it off. You put it on me when you leave, and you take it off when you come back.
Lolli tried to take that teddy bear today. She said, "Mommy, I'll bring you my pink daddy bear, and I can have your brown one." I said, "No fanna. You can't have my brown teddy bear." She said, "You just need to have it?" I said, "You've been trying to acquire that teddy bear your whole life!" And she laughed and said, "I need it!"
Sweet memories I will always hold close to my heart.
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