Love has been on my heart a lot this past week. I wish I could say that such and such happened and is the reason why. I don't really have a situation like that. Love has just been on my mind. Perhaps it's because all around me I see so very little of it offered genuinely, and so many people in deep need of it.
My love (AKA the lobster-and in case you've been wondering why I call him that, it's because lobster's mate for life and the only way out of this marriage is via death...which you could sort of claim as very "gang" like...blood in...blood out. But hey! I've always been an intense gal, and that's the only way I would ever get married. hehe) and I were having a lengthy conversation about love tonight. I was sharing with him about some of the matters that had been weighing on my heart and asking for his leadership on how I should handle them. My heart aches to love people. I desire it desperately. I know how deeply my heart, my soul, my spirit ached for it before it was so generously given to me.
I believe in love given with strings not attached.
It's quite honestly the only way I know how to love. If I love you with expectations of grandeur or praise or even kindness returned, then is it no longer love, but rather a purchase. Isn't that sort of like paying for something that you want?
The needs are so immense. The broken hearts are so intense that I experience the near trembling of my bones as to how I will ever be able to give each broken heart a piece of Heavenly love. It is so much like a drop of water to dry and dehydrated lips and my arms ache to give more and more and more.
I wish I could show you my Father's love. I wish I could unskin myself and clothe myself in only His beautiful embraces and hold you. I want with all of my heart for you to know that I see your aching heart. Please be assured it is by no ability of my own, but only that which the Lord allows me to see. I make no boast in my self. I am lowly and merely human and I am quite honestly incapable of giving that which your heart desires. I have no idea why God has allowed me to see the suffering that you are hiding. I don't know how to even explain it in words so that you can understand. My heart is so grieved for your desire. I am daily, constantly, in prayer for God to give you the yearning of your heart. I know, with complete certainty, that He will satisfy you. I pray wholeheartedly that God will allow you to know, to experience, that you are not alone in your thoughts. You are not alone on this earth. There are people who see you. There are people who love you, and accept you just the way you are. There are people who see the beauty that dwells in your heart. You are so beautiful and I honestly believe you have no idea how amazing you really are. My heart loves you so deeply. With no strings attached.
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