I think I'm slowly starting to feel normal again. I catch waves of myself randomly. Today was one of those days. I didn't feel like I was trying to fulfill some status quo of what everyone is expecting of me. Today I just felt like laughing, so laugh I did. I loved it! It was wonderful. It was amazing to laugh with you. It was amazing to see you smiling. It was hilarious to watch you eat chocolate cake on "the phone". How quickly your "rules" of behavior start to dissipate... :)
I miss making dinner for you. I miss watching you do the dishes, and leaning against the counter talking to you. I miss standing behind you and messing with you while you try to accomplish the cleaning of the counters and sink.
I love when you ask what's for dinner. I probably love it too much! ;) Sneaky! Sneaky!
I love that you make fun of my insane fears of commitment. And that we could laugh about how if you had just passed out, you and I would probably not be married. I love that you can make fun of the fact that I am, in a way, the runaway bride. Okay, not in a way, in a LOT of ways!
I love that our wedding day is a complete blur in your mind. I love that it is in mine, and that the main portion I remember about the whole event was how badly I wanted to get the hell out of there and just have the whole ordeal over with. I love how that is so typical of you and me, and how it really means absolutely nothing about "us". I think I really would've been much happier to have it just be a contract that was signed, in front of a judge, and no fuss, or embarrassment. I still think it's hilarious that being insanely in love with you is embarrassing to me, especially since it's impossible for me to hide.
I love that only after being married for as many years as we have, am I now contemplating the excitement of having a "real" (in the sense of traditionalism) wedding, and actually looking forward to the event. Only now, am I not terrified about promising to love you forever, in front of a bunch of people, who might be staring at me. Let them stare baby. I've got nothing to hide.
I love that you make me feel so young. I love that you make me forget that I have eighteen thousand children, and a million responsibilities. I love that you still make me throw caution to the wind. I love that you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. I love that you still ignite that rebelliousness in me, and mellow out the careful side of me.
I love that you think I'm hilarious. I love that you think I'm the funniest person in the room, almost always. I love that you and I are drawn together like magnets, and the vast majority of the time, it doesn't really matter to us what anyone thinks about that. I love that you finish my sentences. I love that I can say a completely inaudible sentence, filled with fragments, incomplete thoughts and non-sentences, and you know exactly what I mean. I love that you know how much I love a good story, and you write them with me every. single. day.
I love being the yin to your yang, the sun to your sky, the shore to your ocean, the mother to your children, the heart to your love, the palm to your hand, the advocate to your devil, the love to your soul, the light to your dark, the peace to your war, the one to your Army, the highlight of your day, the weakness to your strength, the joke to your laughter, the 'm' to your m&m. There is no separation of church and state here. This is no government divided in three parts. We are not two individuals, married together as one. To divide us is to ill define us, because with you and me, there really is no line to define where you end and I begin again.
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