My dog is a fake lab. I'm almost positive of this. He hates all things water (lakes, rivers, swimming pools, sprinklers, the list goes on and on), he loves birds (not loves to chase birds, I mean he really loves birds!), loves rabbits, and has almost no kill instinct (except unknowing children on skateboards, cats, chihuahas, and German Shepards). He weeds my back yard. Now I know with that last statement you probably think I've either lost my mind or am making things up, but I kid you not, I have seen with my own two eyes that labrador pulling weeds out of the grass and throwing them in a place that he does not venture. He is bizarre. Despite these shortcomings, and one perk (that weeding thing is pretty awesome!), I adore him with all that I am. He truly is such an immense comfort to me and our children.
I suppose my Monday was just going too wonderful. I think he must've felt some sort of urging to come in and shake things up a bit. The lobster and I were enjoying an evening film when we were overcome by a disturbing smell (side note: in a completely weird coincidence, we happened to be watching a show about a disgusting smell in an office at the exact moment we smelled our disgusting smell). We almost immediately said the smell was that of a skunk. We knew that we would quickly need to discover this smell, so the lobster jumped on the mission.
He wandered the house, checked outside, and roamed about and finally came back and delivered his verdict: there is no source of the smell and it's fading away anyway so I'm sure it's gone. Now, I don't like to be labelled as a pessimist, but I wasn't quite content with his analysis of the data. I do, however, want to be agreeable with my handsome husband, so I shrugged it off, put it on the shelf, and we continued our film.
When the film was over, we decided to have a glass of wine outside and enjoy the cooler weather. After walking outside (he was finishing something up in the house and was coming out "any second now"), I was immediately struck by the same smell we had smelled earlier. Then my beloved Labrador came up to me with an agitated demeanor and was pointing at something in the yard. He went over to the "something" and sniffed it when I immediately commanded him to come away. I think he was quite satisfied to do that. He just wanted to point out to this lady what fowl creature had so viciously attacked our peaceful domain. His point was made. I saw it...
The "it" that I am referring to, was a baby skunk. The tiniest thing I could ever have imagined. It was about the size of a small mouse, but it's white stripe and bushy tail were distinct. My lab went to war with a skunk. Now, I will have to say that he won the war because the skunk was dead, but the skunk put up one hell of a fight because he/she sprayed my lab...
So what did I so unhappily do for my precious labrador at one o'clock in the morning? You guessed it! I donned rubber gloves, an online skunk smell removal recipe, our hose, and went to work. I scrubbed and cleaned, rinsed off, and started the process all over again. After about five cleanings, I then gave him a real bath and got him all fresh. So here I currently sit, at almost two in the morning, waiting for his hair to dry so we can go to bed...
I hope he has learned his lesson. I quite honestly have never seen him so embarrassed and upset. He actually tolerated the cleanings (which is a shocker in and of itself) without putting up any sort of fight.
So my Tuesday has started off quite interestingly. You'll have to forgive me if I smell skunky for a few days...
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