Irritations of a military spouse

I have something I just need to get off my chest. The Army isn't full of the most sensitive of individuals. They are not always helpful, and they aren't always concerned with the needs of families and spouses. I, in no way, am arguing against that. There are times when you desperately are in legitimate need, and your soldier's chain of command isn't really helping. Usually there are reasons for that, but there are also the occasional donkey leaders who just don't care to help anyone.

That being said, as a long time Army spouse, and FRG leader, I get completely aggravated when people say things like "The Army won't help us" or "The Army won't let my soldier come home" or "The Army doesn't care" when their soldier has not notified his chain of command of the need. Time and time again I have heard women say those statements and upon further investigation, their soldier just doesn't want to ask. Um, that's not the Army's responsibility my friend... That's YOUR soldier's.

I'm not saying the Army is always helpful. I personally have been in circumstances where my soldier asked for help and was being given the run around, or told no, and I had to take up the fight... But how can you blame the Army for something that the chain of command was not even aware of?

Soldier's need to take responsibility for their families. Period. If they're worried they're going to look bad, then  you (and they) need to adequately weigh the importance of the "need". Do you really need him/her to help, or do you just want it? Is there someone else who could help instead? Could a friend drive you, or watch the kids, or pick you up?

That being said, I also want to point out, there is a massive difference between it being more convenient for your soldier to be around to help you, and actually NEEDING him/her to help you. For example, I have heard of spouses saying they needed their soldier home to care for their children because they have a cold. REALLY!? I mean, REALLY!? I have also heard they needed their soldier home because they sprained their ankle. Again, I say really!? When did spouses become so incapable of handling things on their own?

There are times when spouses DO legitimately need their soldier's help. I have had them, and so have many people I have been blessed to know. However, my main point is this: don't blame the Army for no one helping you, when it was your soldier who didn't deem it important enough to ask.