Seven Years

I have this theory that a man begins to get comfortable in his marriage after seven years. Allow me to explain...

The lobster and I celebrated our seven year anniversary this year. Of course, with my silly sense of humor, I built up to that moment by continuously telling the lobster how itchy I was. :) He would just laugh or roll his eyes, or do one of the several things he does when I am trying to make him laugh. I was completely taken by surprise, though, when he started to reveal things to me that I previously had not known.

Everyone who knows me knows that I have a long standing, quite passionate (but completely sarcastic and filled with humor), disdain for the "Irish". Yes, to continue this joke, I refuse to even write the word "Irish" without quotation marks. LOL. A couple of days before our seven year anniversary, my most wonderful and handsome of husbands, ANNOUNCES to me that he is part "Irish". I. was. flabbergasted. To be perfectly honest, I didn't believe him at first. I think he literally rendered me silent. I can remember the moment like it was yesterday. We were in our room, I was laying on my stomach in our bed, he was on his back. The lighting was bright. The kids were playing...and he says, "Did I ever tell you that I was 'Irish?'" (did you see how I still kept it in quotation marks!?) Completely out of the blue. After he had convinced me that he was not in fact lying, I started in on "I don't even know you anymore!" He of course was laughing hysterically and then he started saying "Kiss me! Kiss me!" Now, any self respecting Scotsman (or woman) would absolutely NEVER kiss someone who is "Irish". So I said, "Absolutely not!" He said, "You can kiss the Indian in me!"

After barely recovering from this tidbit of mind boggling information, which I might add, he has now happily pointed out that he has forced me to love someone who is "Irish" (I vehemently disagree...I say I still despise the "Irish" that is in him, and LOVE all the rest...the "Irish" must be his gassy part, or his snoring part, or the part that sets alarms in the morning and then doesn't get up when they go off part...), he has started slowly divulging other little snippits of things that I never knew before "Oh! Didn't I tell you that I used to drink a shot of Tequila every single night!?" "Didn't you know about XYZ?" "I know I told you that I did that!" Um...No honey...you never mentioned these pieces of information to me... "Oh...Well...I thought I did." Uh huh...

So this has awakened me to the seven year information awakening. Perhaps we could call it the sort of Informational Revolution within a marriage.

So buckle up ladies! When seven years arrives at your doorstep, you might be shocked to discover long lost dirty secrets like an affiliation with "Ireland" or Tequila...

Note: This is entirely a sarcastic and silly post. I genuinely adore that man to the very core of my being, with ALL that I am. With the exception, of course, of his "Irish" genes...LOL!