summer nights

Here we sit...enjoying the smell in the air, the gentle warmth on our skin...a glass of wine in our hands. It's just you and me. The kids are asleep and we've enjoyed our movie together. I love sitting and talking with you. I love being close. I love sharing what's on my heart and mind. I love being vulnerable with you.

Sometimes I am surprised when I think about how we still have so much to talk about, despite our endless conversations. Sometimes I am surprised that I can still sit up with you until five o'clock in the morning, pouring out my passions and diving into yours.

I am honored to be your wife.

My mind wants to sneak away to this tear-filled place about how you are leaving and these beautiful moments will go away. I find myself struggling against them. Not because it isn't true, but really because I would rather revel in you, revel in the elation that I feel right now while I'm next to you, than to focus on that day...

Thank you for letting me sleep in this morning. Thank you for filling this day with an enormous amount of laughter and creativity. Thank you for taking initiative and for getting things done, without me saying anything. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better version of me, and for allowing me days like today, where my work load is minimal. Thank you for holding me the way you did on the couch tonight, with the afghan wrapped around us. In that moment, I felt so comfortable and so warm, and despite it hurting your back, you stayed there anyway.

I wish you could see the way you light up our lives. I wish you could see how deeply we adore you. I wish you could watch you, the way that we do, and experience what it is like to be immersed in your presence. I know that you know we love you. I know that you deeply know that I do. Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that I am insanely in love with you! It's funny but I don't really care what they think.

Listening to the wind ruffling the leaves on our tree, I am thinking about beauty.

I will so miss seeing your face. I am looking up at the moon right now. I know that we always say, we're only a moon apart, but it ends up seeming like it's a gazillion worlds apart. Your face, your voice, your touch are what soothe me. You are the only man I have ever known with enough balls to tell me when I'm wrong, and enough love to do it without making me feel worthless or like a failure.

I just love sitting here with you, hearing you talk, and sharing ideas.