I love my husband, I really do. I think all you have to do is read through just a couple of my posts and you can see that I am pretty hardcore in this dude that I'm married to. However, there are moments when the love of my life drives me completely crazy. I will divulge into this very serious issue, now.
Sleep is a sensitive issue for me. When Chief deploys, I no longer have to battles with his middle-of-the-night (okay, slight exaggeration) alarm clock sounds, the worry that he got up and went back to sleep in the living room instead of getting ready for work, and the fifteen thousand times he comes in and out of my room, turning the bathroom light on and off, while getting ready for work. Let me just say, I have not missed these activities. I have tried to shift my morning schedule to get up when he does so that this will bother me less, however, it has never really proved successful. Maybe I should take up the fight again.
Of all things aggravating, however, this is minor on the scale. You see, women, especially women who are getting older (gasp! Did she just say getting older? Well chillax my women friends, there is no such thing as a woman who is not getting older. Or a girl, boy, man, etc etc for that matter as well) have this lovely concoction within themselves called hormones. Hormones create, in women, what I like to call female heat strokes (AKA night sweats) while we attempt to sleep. Women, if they have children, who don't get a decent amount of sleep become highly agitated and snippy.
Now, I confess to you that I suffer from female heat strokes. I am constantly roasting under my thin sheets. It has been so awful on occasion, that I have actually slept with ice packs!
So how does Chief play into this disturbing phenomena? I will tell you. I am 100% convinced that Chief's body temperature rises to 800 degrees when he falls asleep. I kid you not, we can be snuggling in bed reading books, or playing games, and he does not cause me to roast. I will give you an example. Last night I slept with the window open in my room. It was negative 700 degrees outside, so I figured that for certain I would get a decent night's sleep. Is this what played out? No. Chief decided that he was not content to sleep next to me in our massive bed, no no. Chief had to sleep on top of me, with Spaniel alongside just to ensure my experience of heat stroke. I kicked off all the blankets to try to cool off, and then I decided to feel Chief's forehead. Um, if I had a thermometer handy, I swear his body temperature was AT LEAST 105 degrees (on a side note, is this why he's so skinny!? He just sweats off every single calorie that enters his body! Humph!).
Now I know that to have him here to sleep next to (or under) is a wonderful treat. So I tried to fall asleep, and tolerate how hot I was. I know that so many dear friends' husbands are far away. I know that he and I have spend many nights not sleeping next to each other, and it is a beautiful gift to hear his sleep talking, the rise and fall of his chest, and the comfort of his embrace. I get all of that. However, at about four o'clock in the morning, I tried to gently push Chief over to his side of the bed. What happened? He took that as wanting to snuggle more and in his sleep starts to tell me how much he loves me (is this sleep induced guilt-tripping? Does that exist!?). I finally snapped. I was a rubber band that had been stretched too thin from lack of sleep and too much overheating. I spicily said, "Can you please move over to your side of the bed!?!?!?!" He reacted like a child who just put his hand on a hot stove.
I finally cooled off. I could feel my skin breathing a massive sigh of relief. So, do you know where I was when his alarm went off this morning for him to go to work? I had shifted myself over to his side of the bed and I was snuggling him!
I guess I'm just a glutton for heat stroke. :)
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