There is a confusing hustle and bustle within my spirit. The past two days have been a haze of ultra stomach sickness the details of which I will spare you. This latest addition to the plague that has been haunting me brings my sick total of days to over a month. I finally had an emotional break down when my children called my mom and said she needed to come. My mom asked if I needed her to and I just started to cry. I am so sick of being sick.

My house is in desperate need of cleaning. In fact, we've reached the critical level here. I have cut back and cut back on activities to allow my body time to rest and heal, but we're getting to the point where everything is in critical need. I was so upset. I was so frustrated. I was overwhelmed. I wanted two people: my husband or my mom, and they're both far away. So I had a pity party, and I sat in my red chair and cried.

I am better today. Well, better on the stomach front anyway. I've been able to keep down some saltine crackers and plenty of 7up, which is much better than yesterday. I also was able to manage to not sleep the entire day away. Thank God the kids are older and they managed to keep DVDs going for long enough to let me sleep as much as my body needed to.

Tonight I am sitting here sulking. I miss the lobster. I miss him so much that my skin hurts. My bones ache for him. I haven't talked to him in almost a week. I know he's busy, and I know he doesn't want to spend the money on calling cards, or all of the other communication forms which require spending money. I know what his logic is. I understand what he's doing. It just sucks. It hurts.