sickness and all saints day

I have a "to do" list that seems to be growing longer by the second. Each minute I sit here, more and more things for me to do pile on. It's not that these things are overwhelming me. They're not. They are simple tasks that I can easily accomplish. It's just that I have been sick, I mean really sick for the past week and a half, and I am not getting any better. This morning, the lobster announced that it was "time" for me to "take it easy." It's nice when lobsters announce that! :) So, instead of tackling errands, cleaning and organizing, today I sat in my (also my grandfather's) red chair and vegged. I've tackled drinking hot tea every hour on the hour, hot soup for all meals, and approximately two gallons of water. I am determined to get better quickly! I must admit, the coughing spells are mellowing out, and my nose isn't running faster than the speed of sound (plus I'm not on any decongestants), which is positive. But my glands are still so swollen that it's difficult to swallow, I have a headache that still hasn't gone away, and my lungs hurt from the constant coughing.

Today is all saints day, and because I'm sick, we didn't go to church. However, I spent a large part of this day thinking of those people I've loved who have passed away. Here I sit in my grandfather's chair, mourning. I miss him. I wish he was near to me in more than just memories. I wish I had fought harder to show him Truth. I wish I had done more. I know that today is the day to honor those believers who have passed away, but for me, I feel consumed by thoughts of him. I loved him tremendously so. I love him so much more than I know how to say. I think about him constantly and I miss talking to him. I was so blessed to be able to bond with him throughout the lobster's deployments/training/nights away. I was blessed to have been able to share the experiences of war and the military with him. I am thankful for so much encouragement that he gave to me, especially because he is the only member of my family who has ever really been able to encourage me in living this lifestyle. Is that what made the connection so powerful? Was it because he is the only one who made me feel supported? It seems strange to recognize that. It also seems sad. I just miss him. I miss him so very much.