Communication is such an incredibly powerful word. The lack of it can cause the greatest of destruction. Ineffective communication can lead to misunderstanding, resentment, hostility. It always ends up having a trickle down effect and causing the breakdown of relationships. To communicate effectively is incredibly important. I think it can actually be the most important aspect of humanity, second only to love.
I am often times surrounded by people who are either so stressed, or so overwhelmed, or so frustrated that their communication has reached a breakdown point. When we allow emotions to rule our verbiage, we put ourselves at great risk. Sometimes the risk is a beautiful one, as in when we lovingly, passionately, plead with our loved one to make a better choice, or to realize we're "the one". Other times it can cause the complete loss of that which matters to us: allow rage/anger to guide your mouth and watch what happens.
The truth is, most of us have forgotten the art of thinking before we speak. Most of us have gotten so caught up in the hollywood mood boob that we can almost hear the soundtrack playing in our minds as we embark on our hollywood journey of emotional outbursts. Except, why do the stories almost always turn out so perfectly in the movies and so horrifically in real life? Um... because it isn't real!
The reality behind communication is that it's messy. You can't always predict how people will react. You don't always know the reasons behind why someone is saying what they're saying. You can't just assume that they're thinking or feeling one way unless you've asked.
The reality is that when you stop giving people the benefit of the doubt, you choose to assume the worst in them and you immediately build up a barrier between them and you. You immediately stop the free flow of love.
I work so hard on a daily basis to assume the best in people. I work hard at this because it's required of me. Every day I communicate with people who are overwhelmed, over stressed, over panicked, over worried, over impatient, over defensive, or over whatever else it is, and bring it to my table. Do I have moments when I've had enough and I just have to step back? You bet I do. I have a lot of them. But do I also have moments when I get to see the good and beauty behind people's overwhelming emotions as well? Yes.
I get so frustrated sometimes when people try to read into my thoughts, my perspectives, my emotions. I work hard to communicate exactly what I'm thinking/feeling when I'm ready to. I am not the type of individual who just callously sits around silent and then blabbers to everyone else what I'm thinking. When I see problems I need addressed, I address them. I don't like to fight.
I realize that there are people on this earth that need a cause. I know that God has wonderfully created individuals who need to have something to stand up for, to argue against, wrongs that they can right. To be honest, the older the get, the less energy I have for that. I think that the older I become the more I realize that my husband and my children are the only things that are genuinely worth fighting for. Everything else is absolutely worth loving, but fighting for? No.
I'm sure you're sitting there going, now seriously, how the heck did she go from communication to love and fighting and worth fighting things for and what!? I promise you that there is a back story here, I just know better than to say it out loud. I'm sorry. I know I just now had you all revved up to read a story and now I've just cut you off. I'm a story tease. I apologize.
There's this prayer that I pray which says "God give me the grace to effectively communicate." I love that prayer. Because I love recognizing before God that speaking can create all sorts of mess and ugliness if it isn't done from a pure heart. I also love the reminder that every time I talk, someone is listening, even if it feels like no one is. The trick of talking is to make sure that love of the individual is your guide. When there is no love, words are almost always ugly. When words are ugly, communication is an incredibly destructive force.
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