Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Military Spouse Appreciation day.... What words are there? Where do I begin to define and describe this club that I am blessed to be a part of? Where do I start? I'm not really sure, but yet here I sit trying to put words to thought and heart and click away at this keyboard to convey that which feels in-conveyable....

Some of the greatest betrayals of my life have come from military spouses. Some of the deepest cuts, the greatest abandonments, the most painful rejections. Some of the hardest experiences have been at the hands of the juvenile, back stabbing, trash talking, can't handle you being Catholic-ing individuals that I've known in this life. Those hurts were deep and intense and awful.

But on the flip side of that coin... on the back side of those beautiful uglies (and they really were beautiful), are the rays of light that have been my living, breathing, walking Jesus'. The one's who've stayed up with me until three in the morning listening to me yell about what an idiot one of our "hot shot" wives is... the one's who've held my hand while I unwrapped my arms from the love of my life and watched him go away... the ones who've come to last minute get-togethers, poured cups of coffee, cried, yelled, prayed, cursed, and laughed (my favorite one...).

I love being a military spouse. I love it because it's perfect for me. I love it because this lifestyle has molded and shaped so much of me. It has changed me, for the better.

I have learned so many difficult lessons because I am married to a soldier. I've learned a level of independence that has been necessary for my sanity (even though I never would have believed that 10+ years ago). But in the exact same way, I've learned to be dependent on a core group of women that are critical for my mental well being. I've learned to communicate. I've learned to say what I love and what I hate, and to hopefully do both with a humble heart. I've learned to stop fighting, to let go, and to accept the "things I can not change". I've also learned that I am strong enough to fight the hardest fights ever imaginable.

I've learned what raw humanity looks like, watching your dear friend bury her husband at such a young age. I've learned that youth doesn't mean immaturity and age doesn't mean wisdom. Pain doesn't mean rejection. I've learned to love. More than I thought myself capable of doing. I've learned to give grace. I've learned to forgive. I've learned to accept who I am, while never being content to stagnate my spiritual and emotional growth.

I have learned to survive. I've learned that nightmares are not necessarily reality, and that fear is not fact. I've learned that stereotyping (while it can be hilarious) is not always truth. I've learned to not judge a book (or a soldier's rank, or the spouse's appearance) by it's cover. I've learned that "hill-billy-hick-Sara-Mae" can be a genius, and General so-and-so's wife can be an idiot.

But most of all, I've learned to laugh. I've learned to release all of these things that I spent the majority of my life trying to control; to sit back, kick up my heels and say Heck! It's outta my hands!

I appreciate the beautiful souls who are here with me, in this aggravating, mind-boggling, military spouse experience. I honor the one's who've gone before us and made things better. I still want to kick in the donkey the one's who've made things worse (and you probably still don't know who you are because you are an idiot... Bless your heart...).

This doesn't even graze the surface. Thank you for being you, for giving all you've given. You are worth more than rubies to me... more valuable than gold. More precious than silver...