Last night I was sitting here with Chief and I started to feel really sad. I started to miss you. It's really socially ridiculous that you've been gone for months and it just randomly hit me and hurt me. I think the awkwardness of our personalities made the goodbye situation uncomfortable. I think my overall discomfort with emotions and vulnerability made it easier to focus my attention on other things. And well, you know how I am about talking about my feelings, etc...
I just wanted to talk. Not that I have anything really particular to say, and the precious moments of time that you have available for phone calls should go to your love. I know I could write you a letter but what the hell would I write? I've only ever written love letters, or thank you notes, and frankly I'm not very good at writing "Hey Pal!" things... They always end up seeming so contrived or superficial even when they aren't.
People have been irritating me with their religious combatives lately. I know it's something that would equally irritate you. I miss that. I miss having our hours long tirades about the ridiculousness of people's religious view points. I miss having a sounding board to bounce off my own responses, and having someone to give me comebacks or to make me recognize the arguments that would be thrown back at me. I miss my religious-fighting-partner-in-crime...
Do you think we'll ever get talked out? I mean, will there ever come a time where we just run out of things to say? Maybe this is an aspect of friendship that I've never known. One in which, words don't really have to be spoken... One where things don't have to be explained or psychoanalyzed. Perhaps that's what's so bizarre. I don't have to say everything. You just get it. I don't have to justify or defend or mouth vomit a bunch of words to you. You don't have to say a bunch of reassuring things to me, because I know...
So all of this sappy, emotional/girly crap aside... I miss you. I hope you are well. Stay safe.
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