Revelations

In the past few weeks, I've been making a lot of changes in the daily function of our home. I think it is important to occasionally look around at one's daily living and evaluate what needs to stay, change, or be encouraged. After doing this, a few things stood out in my mind that needed some definite improvement.

The first: Homeschooling. School had become a monotonous, boring, hurry-up-and-get-it-done type of environment. We had completely ignored spontaneity. We had stifled creativity. We had rejected the notion of change, and stuck to "sit in the chair and do the paperwork". By "we" I really mean me. Yes, I confess, I evaluated myself and I received a very bad grade. My children do the work very well. They sit still and fill out the papers, and they're even motivated to do it most of the time, on their own. But I was noticing that their love   of learning, their curiosity, their passion for understanding was completely disappearing. They were, quite honestly put, becoming robots, and I was the person who created that. It was a heart wrenching realization. I had essentially become, a public school. It was powerful, to realize that. And it hurt. I want our children to be SO excited to read. I want them to dive into stories and be creative, and discover new things. I want them  to adore learning so much so that they can't stand to stop! I want them to realize that there are multiple aspects to learning (and yes, seat work is sometimes a part of that) and explore all of them. I want them to be eager to try new things.

So what have I changed? Most importantly, my attitude. I've also changed the format in which we homeschool. Each child gets my individual attention. Period. I realize this isn't practical for everyone, but I set a timer of 20 minutes, and each of our children has my full, and undivided attention during those minutes. Sometimes that's explaining a math struggle, sometimes that's reading stories, sometimes that's putting some flour in a pan and watching their hands discover the textures and smells. The phone goes on silent, the chaos ends, and the kids get all of me for those minutes. For my oldest, she knows if she has a question, or doesn't understand something, she moves on and waits until her 20 minute slot to cover her "challenges" with me. For the triplets, they no longer have to share me during their school time. We have also added in suggested creativity. What I mean by this is that they each get to suggest an activity (sewing, painting, coloring, beading, cooking, etc etc etc), and we explore it as a group and then decide on which to do. Some days that's as simple as "Mommy, I'd like to make Jane a birthday card." and other days it's more complex "Mommy, I want to build a castle!" but it's brought about all sorts of creative ideas (the castle one ended up happening with the aid of pillows, blankets, and a mattress). Everyone works together and we all learn something together too!

Second: Smiling. You might be surprised that this is on my list with how silly I am all the time. To be honest, I was surprised by the realization myself. What stood out to me was this: I rarely smiled when my children entered the room, asked me a question, or came to me for help. I rarely responded to their whining with a smile and a reassurance of affection and compassion. I rarely physically showed that I enjoyed them, and realizing that really impacted me.

I have worked hard to change that. When one is walking through the living room to get a drink of water, I smile at them. When one is whining because they didn't get their way, instead of saying "If you don't stop you're going to go to your room." I respond with "Nugget, I love you." and I have been amazed how that tiny reassurance has quickly ended the whining. I am just shocked by how much it has changed my own attitude. I'm less annoyed by their irritations, and more excited to show them I love them even when they're frustrated. I have discovered they talk to me more. And not the same way. They talk about their hopes and dreams. They say the experiences that upset them, or frustrate them. They listen to me differently. I realize you're probably sitting there thinking "Really lady? This is common sense!" but it really wasn't for me. Smiling at my children when they talk to me has changed us all in a way that I love.

Third: Pictures. I struggle with picture taking. I'm just not the photographer type. But I know that one day they will forget this place, and this home, and we will all want to remember.

I have been focused on taking at least one picture every day. Sometimes it's posed, and sometimes it's random, but I know I'll never regret it. I don't think I've ever heard someone say "Boy! I wish I hadn't taken so many pictures!" but I know I've heard people say "I wish I had taken pictures!"

I will leave you with this last thought: Our lives are a painting. Don't ever stop creating it. And don't ever allow someone else to define. You are the artist. You control what it reflects.