Growth Charts

Today was the final class of RCIA for Chief and me. We're now officially "Catholic", complete with certificates and everything! Today, in the midst of our hugs and reminiscences (is that even a word?), we all started talking about our rebel periods. Somehow, the whole: I dumped Chief, while he was deployed, conversation came up. And we also got to tell our "how-we-met" story (which is a fun one!). I was a cold hearted back in the day.

You might be wondering by now, what is the point of all this? Well, I don't really know. For some reason, in that moment, opening the casket of my buried past seemed fitting. Yes, it's embarrassing (I mean, seriously, dumping a deployed soldier!?!?!?), and yes it's behaviors that I've long since walked away from, but it's refreshing to remember who I once was, and the inevitable biproduct of recognizing who I am now. 

I have a long way to go. I hope that I always say that. I hope I never give up on the idea that I can always improve, always tweak, always grow. I hope I teach my children that there is no such thing is impossible, even in regards to the most difficult experiences within our selves. 

I have had many memories that hurt like hell. I've had experiences that spent years haunting my mind and making me afraid. I have been a terrible person, no. Scratch that. I still am a terrible person. But I am less terrible today than I was ten years ago. And I know I'll be even less terrible tomorrow than I am  today. 

So what's the point? I suppose it's to never stop changing. Never stop challenging yourself. Never stop fighting, working, bending, breaking, mending, and sewing yourself into a better human being. And every once in a while, take a peak back at where you've come from. But only for long enough to stay motivated to keep pressing forward. If you hang out for too long in the past, you'll convince yourself that you've come far enough, and you will die to all of the possibilities that lay before you.