February

I love February! There are many reasons why I happen to like the month (it's still winter, love is in the air, it's a short month, etc etc), but my most favorite reason why I love February is my four beautiful children. Five years ago, I was freaking out, panicking about whether or not my unborn baby was going to be early. My husband was deployed and I was all alone in a city with no family. I was paranoid that my daughter would be born with no one in the room but me. I was having anxiety that she would come on a weekend where some other doctor than MY doctor would deliver her. I was terrified that she would come during this week when my OBGYN typically goes on his family ski trip. I was terrified she would come before my husband's R and R. I was just nervous as a whole. Of course, it turned out to be fine: My mom, and my friend Kenna, and my husband were all there while my daughter was delivered by MY OBGYN....but still...the fears were there.

This time three years ago, I was exhausted beyond measure. My body hurt horrifically. I was broken under the weight of three beautiful children. I was tired of not sleeping, barely being able to eat, struggling to move, to do anything... I was tired of being on strict bed rest. I was tired of not being able to get up and go somewhere if I wanted to. I was tired of being taken care of. But then, on the flip side, I wanted my babies to be healthy and strong. I wanted them to keep growing and stay in as long as possible. But I have to admit...I was done being pregnant by this point.

It's amazing what time will do. When I was getting ready to deliver my oldest, never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that only two years later, I would give birth to three babies at once! I never could've imagined we'd all live where we live, and being doing good! I never would've believed that I would've been able to handle being alone with four toddlers for a year. I never would've been able to picture surviving hospitalizations, and endless sicknesses and horrible viruses, and near death situations with one (or more) of my four children...without my husband.

Don't get me wrong, I have NOT been alone. This deployment started out as being alone. But then I came to know the wonderful women that I call my sisterhood. When I think about the ways that they have stood by me, uplifted me, encouraged me, laughed with me, listened to my venting tirades, and been compassionate...it literally drives me to tears. I have been blessed beyond measure by them in my life. I say sisterhood, because we are all in similar situations together. We are all believers in Christ and striving to love Him more and more, and we are all Army wives (with the exception of a few what-I-like-to-call honorary army wives). We know what it means to be alone, and yet not. We know what it means to fight against what we lovingly call the "fort Bliss 'man'". We know how to cut through red tape, get answers, fight for our marriages, defend our children, and keep the home fires burning, while our husbands are at war.

Now, SO many women try to say, "Well, I know what it's like because my husband was in the air force or my husband is a marine" etc etc etc. And I have to honestly say, NO you don't. I wish with all my heart that you could understand. Your situation is different. The army is a beautiful institution which I love dearly, however, it has a tendency to leave you fending for yourself. It doesn't have the camaraderie that the air force or the marines have. Also, no matter HOW you spin it...six months is NOT the same as a year. It's just not. Six months is difficult, but it's not the same. Neither is eight months, or nine months. They are NOT the same. It's an entirely different ballgame when your husband has been gone for thirteen, fourteen, fifteen months. I'm not saying that any organizations sacrifices are more or less difficult. I'm just saying, they're different.

So when you have Army Wife friends...it's unique. It's beautiful and it's comforting. It's uplifting just to sit together, even if you don't necessarily have anything to say. It's wonderful to pray with each other, and to laugh together.

Somehow I got off track about why I love February. I was distracted by the gratitude I have for my children and my friends. :)

I will say however, the main reason I'm loving February is that it's one month closer to my husband coming home from his deployment. And that, my dear friends is pretty darn nice! :)