Break up

You abandoned me. There was all this talk for months and months about how we were a group that would "always be friends". I heard over and over "You're my best friends". But the simple truth was that when my world changed, and my heart was broken, and when my world was falling apart and beginning again, you were nowhere to be found.

It hurt. It makes me angry. I resent you for it. I wanted things to be different than they are.

I know that us becoming Catholic was, in your opinion, us becoming toxic water. You resisted it, you hated it. And you hated him and resented him for being a friend that I connected to more than you. It was obvious. The jealousy whenever he was around. The eye rolls when I would say what he'd taught me. I make no apologies for having someone come into my life who helped my family find Truth. I also make no apologies that he and I are more similar than I am with you. I wish it did not result in the break up of our relationship, but I suppose I can't help that.

It's maddening because I actually miss you. And I shouldn't. Anyone who abandons you because of what you believe, because of the hurts you are experiencing, should not be missed. But you are. And I suppose one day I'll forget about you and move on. I suppose one day this won't ache anymore. But in the now, it does.