Bill Cosby Was Right

"Don't think you're going to get away easy [being a parent]. If God had trouble, what makes you think that you're going to just walk through this unscathed!?" -Bill Cosby, comedian extraordinaire on the joys of parenthood


I grew up in a house of eight million children, all girls. I grew up with the fighting and bickering and back talking which is oh so common in American families. I have read every book on parenting I could get my hands on. I have done Self Confrontation, the Power of a Praying Parent, calling on Jesus, praying over the children, memorizing verses (for them, and for me), instructing, challenging, training, equipping, and preparing. I thought I had adequately prepared myself for this parenting thing. I believed I had efficiently prepped these children for the next stages and I imagined a scenario where we would communicate (like on 7Th Heaven!) when doors are slammed in faces, and we would lovingly walk through arguments together, and we would have everything neatly wrapped up in a half hour segment and could go back to our perfect life. I was, after all, going to be that perfect parent, and I would love every minute of mothering.

Nothing on God's beautiful marble earth, could have ever prepared me for this stage. I think I'm beginning to understand why my mother always seemed so angry and unhappy. It's because of children. I think I'm beginning to see why parents argue all the time and seem so incredibly intense: children. I'm beginning to see why boarding schools were invented: parents wanting AWAY from their children.

It's crazy to me, because the CONSTANT bickering, arguing, crying, fighting, slamming, shouting, screaming, whining, just don't fit into that thirty minute segment I imagined! The idea of these stupid june cleaver families (or 7th Heaven) are so ridiculous I can't even see straight. Look! The reality is, that some times parents literally have internal arguments with themselves about intentionally ditching their children at grocery stores. Some times parents seriously think in their minds: if I sell a kidney on the black market, I could afford a year of boarding school. Boarding school? Kidney? Tough choice. Some times parents yell at their spouses because they are so intensely aggravated with the e i g h t e e n hours of never ending arguments and attempting at remaining calm (because let's face it, the modern parent is constantly thinking about "scarring" their child, or how much therapy will cost when the kid is older), that by the time that spouse of yours walks in the door, you're wound up tighter than a baby's fist on your hair, and you're going to snap at someone so the spouse is the "strongest" choice... Sometimes parents create nap times for 13 year old children because if they don't they're going to have a nervous break down. And some times parents become genuinely convinced that their children are making every humanly possible attempt at putting them in an early grave (life insurance nowadays is a pretty pay out...).

"Children are brain damaged." -Bill Cosby


They really are. I don't care how educationally advanced your child is, they are brain damaged. You can tell them the simplest of instructions and they become spontaneously deaf. So you tell them again. They ignore you. You ask why. "I don't know." So you bury your head in your hands and stretch your skin on your face out because it's better to stretch your face than to scream like a lunatic (this is the cause of wrinkles. I believe it's also why rich people/celebrities have so few wrinkles. It's not really because of any particular cream on the market. It's because they pay for people to deal with their children...).

Having kids sucks sometimes. And the idea that it's unChristianly to admit that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Even God sat up in heaven and lamented about His "children" (the Israelites) and how stupid they were behaving. Even God said to His prophets (in my own paraphrasing words): Look, these people are damaged. I'm going to get rid of them all and start over again. So if God had moments where He felt like that, why do so many Christians think it's absolutely ridiculous to have their own feelings of the same nature?! Do Christians really believe they are to be better than God?

Parenting is hard. It's awful, really, for periods that feel like they last forever. But then those periods go away and it gets fun again. That's just how it goes. It is really tough to try to convince yourself that everything is perfect and wonderful and a blast, when you're dealing with arguing, fighting, kids. Some times you're going to be that mom in the grocery store that everyone is thinking thank God that's not me! and sometimes you're going to be that customer experiencing that mom's tough day on behalf of the delightful children. My point is, don't judge the one who's having a tough day. Don't sit there and think in your head that she's doing everything wrong and you've got it all figured out. Don't you dare believe that you know what's best for her and her family and her children, because you don't. Don't tell her that she's being a bad Christian because she vents on you for hating being a mom that day. You are only a moment away from being in that place (and you WILL be in that place at some point), and you wouldn't want someone doing that for you. Instead, pray with her, pray for her, pray with and for her kids. Listen. Laugh. Remind her that this day will pass, and tomorrow will be better. Remind her that these tough periods come, and then they go... Remind her that she's an amazing mom.

But most of all, hand her a copy of Bill Cosby Himself and tell her to enjoy and hour and a half with a comedian who understands.