The van from heaven. Part 1

We have a rental car. My beautiful mama shaggin' wagon has a oil leak so she's been visiting the car doctor. Since I have eight million chicken nuggets who can't sit at home all by themselves (no matter how hard I hope, I am fairly certain the police would not consider our dog...who is 26 in dog years, to be old enough to babysit...lol), I had to rent a van.

Let me just start off this story by announcing to you that Enterprise is the devil's offspring. Seriously. I am NOT joking around.

I called to make a reservation with Enterprise. I have always enjoyed their catchy phrase "Pick Enterprise! We'll pick you up!" I picked Enterprise and all they succeeded in doing was making this self controlled lady so angry that she seriously had visions of leaping over their "separation counter" to scratch the eye balls out of the blonde chick on the other side (this lady was the manager). Okay, back to my story. I made a reservation with Enterprise. After talking with the man for several minutes on the phone, I specifically stated: "My family is a cash only family, do I have to use a credit card if I have a local driver's license?" The man said, "No, not at all. We will require an extra hold on funds, but that is it." I said, "Great!" finished booking the reservation and then went on my merry way.

After driving around my current city for what was approximately an hour (trying to find this "easily accessible" Enterprise rental car location), I finally located the place. I walked in (mind you, it's freezing cold outside, I don't want to just have my car idling so it's off, my husband is in the car with our eight million chicken nuggets...his patience level is already on the fritz, and they're waiting in the car while I go in...). The woman takes my reservation number and proceeds to ask for my payment. I give her my "goods" with my license. She says, "I can't rent you this van without a credit card." I said, "I specifically asked that when I made the reservation and was told that I could." She said, "I don't know who told you that." I said, "Enterprise did!" Manager came over. Let me describe to you this woman. She walks over with a smirk on her face. She heads in my direction with the attitude of a woman in phase ten childbirth. I don't like to call people names, but she was certainly not in a helpful or friendly attitude. I told her the situation and she snaps at me that "we don't rent cars to people without a credit card, and ESPECIALLY not a van!" This dialogue between she and I continued for almost an hour. The result of which was ME calling Enterprise from my personal phone (they refused to do that...explain THAT one to me). I sat on hold for forty five minutes while a manager there asked the manager at my location to override their policy and book me the car. She gave the phone lady an attitude also and refused. By this point I was so enraged that I politely asked her name (it was Stephanie) and walked away. If I had stayed any longer I swear that Jesus wouldn't have been too happy with me.

As I was walking out, I noticed a Budget rental car location. For some reason, the heavenly stars aligned, and I thought I would walk over to them and at least ask if they would rent me a car. I think the lady at the counter could tell that I wasn't exactly having the best morning. I said, "Do you rent cars to people without credit cards?" She so sweetly said, "We sure do! What do you need?" I said, "I need a van." She said, "We've got one!" I literally could've jumped across the counter and non lesbianly given this woman a kiss. I was SO relieved. She was SO nice. She was amazingly helpful and she rented me a van.

All of this back story to tell you that I have fallen in love. I am in love with my rental van. She is a beauty. I seriously don't want to give her back. I will probably end up in tears at the rental car location simply because I want to keep her forever. Yes, I know I can not afford to keep her forever, but I want to!

I know. I'm crazy. But people just showed up at my house so I can't finish this post now. I will try to complete it later. :)