Dreams

Mommy...?
Yes?
Mommy???
Yes? I'm in here.
(panicked) MOMMY!?!?
(louder) I'm in here! You okay?
I dreamt that you died. 
(arms flew around this nugget, in a polar bear hug) I'm not dead. I'm here.

We stayed wrapped up for several minutes, until the fear washed away, until the assurance that I'm still here settled in. It was beautiful and magical. It was powerful. This kid has been difficult for me to reach lately. I know that phases come and go, but this one seemed to linger. In this single moment, it was like a light in the darkness rose up to say "Keep going. You're getting through. Even if it doesn't feel like it."

I told that child of mine I will never go away. Even when my body does, my heart will always be with you. Come what may. Because my heart beats in yours. My blood runs in yours. My breath inhales and exhales in yours. Even when the moment comes that you can't see me, put your hand on your chest and know that I'm there.

Oh how Love can heal our hurts and chase away our fears!