To try to define our relationship feels nearly impossible to do. To attempt to put to words that which is undefinable, indescribable, incapable of being tarnished, touched by the limits of words feels degrading to that which I hold in such high esteem.
You have been my calling ever since I could remember. You have been who I've always talked to, always connected with. You've been the One who has always understood me, even when I didn't understand myself. You have been my source of comfort, my source of strength and endurance through a myriad of hell-on-earth experiences that I have lived through. You have been what's kept me going.
You have promised me you will never leave me. I believe you. But I also don't feel you. As these days go on and on and it feels like you're on one side of the grand canyon and I'm on the other: divided by a chasm so deep and so wide that I can't see you.
In the place of peace, there is torment. In the place of joy, there is angst. In the place of rest, there is exhaustion. I am lost. It's not the weight of the world that is defeating me so. It's the weight of your absence in my days.
You come to me in my sleep. I know it's you. I wake up filled with your words. My voice is filled with our songs. I find myself longing for sleep so that you will return and resuscitate me.
Please let me see you in the daylight. Please come and dwell among my heart and my household, and fill me with the peace of your presence once again. Please cast aside whatever it is that is causing this divide, and return to me the joy of my salvation.
I will wait.
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