There are a thousand tiny moments in our lives that define us. A thousand tiny moments that collectively add up and total us up to the sum of the individual that we are, not who we want to be. There are these spectacular explosions of realism that show their faces for a split second in between those moments where you can actually see someone experiencing something powerful. It's like watching the entire essence of who you are in the blink of an eye, and if you're lucky you'll get to see it happen.
Last night I stood in a crowd of so many beautiful individual explosions. I watched Some beautiful people who have had glimpses of a presence in my life stand in a sea of reunions with no one there waiting for them. Perhaps they wanted it that way. Perhaps they have plans to meet up on a later day. I don't know. But there was a split moment where you could see them thinking frick... this sucks. They disappeared as quickly as they could. I don't blame them.
For others there was the moment between tears and the world's biggest smiles when your whole universe is standing there in front of you, away from danger, the distance is gone, the time apart over. You can watch their whole selves relax, revive, and come back to life. If you've ever seen someone stop breathing, there's a moment when it appears that their entire body re-inflates with air. That's the best comparison I can give to those of you who haven't seen a redeployment, or lived it. It's like watching people re-inflate. It's like watching life come back. Love is home and you can breathe free...
I was able to watch this experience for children in a way I never have before. I watched this one little girl stand still, almost frozen in time while her Daddy stood in front of her. You could almost experience everything that was going on in her mind while she processed it all. You could almost see months of resentment for him being gone, months of strength that she was trying to display for her mom, and this overall feeling of finally being able to relax. You could watch all of this explode all over her face while she stood still staring at her Dad. And then in an instant, the in between ended and she ran to her Daddy, lost in a moment that no one could adequately define. He was home.
I understand those feelings well. I have lived these beautiful experiences. I know I've had the in betweens wash over my face. I've lost all reserves and ability to maintain composure. I've been that person completely hung up on a soldier finally being home.
I can tell you that for me, there has not been a single moment in my life that has ever topped it. Not my wedding day, the birth of our children, or any other spectacular experience. Nothing has ever compared to the moment when it feels like my entire self re-inflates after months of holding my breath. Nothing has ever compared to the moment when I can feel every single muscle in my body relaxing, or to the ability to actually get a good night's sleep. Nothing can compare to no longer giving a flying frenchman about whether or not you might miss a phone call. Nothing can compare to rolling over in your bed and seeing that person you are crazy in love with lying next to you...
Homecomings are amazing. They're incredibly powerful. They are spirit reviving. With my whole heart I was caught up in the moment of these beautiful soldiers coming home. I lost my reserves and I screamed, cheered, and acted crazy. They deserve that. They deserve to have people rooting them on, cheering for them... They deserve to have people screaming their names at the top of their lungs. They deserve to have people looking for them, even if they don't expect to. They deserve it because they're heroes. Real live heroes. They're brave. They are sacrificing. They are strong. They are willing to go out and do what no one else is. They are home.
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