Chief

I don't know how he did it, but somehow he made the girl who was never going to be dependent on anyone, completely codependent on him.

It's been a couple of thousand nights apart. It's been deployments, field times, gunnery's, schools, trainings, 24 hour duties... It's been millions of seconds where I didn't get to kiss you goodnight. It's been a multitude of exhausting days where I didn't get your support, or your jokes to make me feel better.

I don't see the silver lining. I hate all of them. I loathe them with a passion. This is the only way I know how to love: all encompassing.

You are the love of my life. And to say that sentence is both completely grandiose but also immensely an understatement. There is no human being walking around on this planet that I have needed, like I need you. There is no person who has mattered to me what you do. My life would suck without you. You are a rockstar and I am your fanatic. You are medicine to my broken heart, strength to my weakened muscles, and the reason why I get out of bed, most days. No pressure, right?

The thing that is both insane and amazing is that I know it is exactly the same way for you. I know you love me just the same way as I love you, if not more. In this intense way that can't be described. There are no words, musical notes, songs, colors, or things that can define it. It's indescribable.

It's divine. Magical. Powerful. You're the only person that could get me to enjoy sleeping next to them. You're the only person who showed me what safety felt like. And you did it in such an intense way that the safety lingers, even when all that's left is the ghost of your presence here.

You love me with a supernatural ability that only God could have given. And you've loved me beautifully, immaculately, astoundingly... You love me with a Holy love.

There is no "me" without you. There's no story of me, or funny in me, or joy in me, without you. You are my backbone. You hold me all together and make everything flow right. And it's not because you have to do it. It's not because I made you do it. I didn't beg it of you, or plead for it. You just do it.

I can't stand being apart. I can't stand the silence. I can't stand the ghost of your memory on our sheets or the smell of you fading away. I can't stand not seeing you, or feeling you, or being lost in you. I can't not hearing the sound of your heartbeat, or feeling the rising and falling of your chest while I fall asleep. I can't stand the cold of our room without you there to warm it up.

You are the only you that there is. I love you.