letter to you

So I finally “cleaned you up” off of our bedroom floor. I can’t believe it took me just under six months to basically erase your memory of having just been here. I did your laundry. I washed the clothes you wore the day before you left. I washed your pajamas you wore the night before. I put them all away. I picked up your slippers and put them in our closet. Your side of the room is completely empty. It’s bringing about a strange feeling. On the one hand I have tremendous peace about where you are and what you are doing. I know that God has plans for both you and me, and I know He will not allow anything to thwart them. I have complete peace in His leadership and guidance. On the other…I miss you so deeply. I miss so many things about you but it seems to be the little things I miss the most. I miss your goodbye kisses in the morning. I miss watching you climb in to bed. I miss opening my eyes and seeing your head on the pillow. I miss holding your hand. I miss seeing you smile. I miss sitting next to you on the couch, where our thighs are pressed up next to each other and your arm is wrapped around my shoulder. I miss sleeping on your lap. I miss falling asleep with you holding me.

I am proud of you. I am SO proud of you. I am proud of your perfections. I am proud of your flaws. I am proud of your in betweens. I love that I get to be the woman that loves you. I love that I get to be the woman that supports you and stands beside you. I love that you are my best friend. I love that you are so kind. You are kind. Did you know that the Bible says that a kind man is a man of virtue? I am so thankful for you.

So anyway, this is what I’ve been thinking about. Oh how much I wish you were here. But yet, I know God has a plan for why you are not, and I thank Him for His wisdom. I can’t wait until we can touch again.

I'll be seeing you,
me